Breaking the Bank
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Another week has ended, and I don't feel like I moved forward as my stars promised now Mercury has ended it's retrograde phase! Why do we always turn to the stars during hard times!
Once you start belt tightening it becomes an obsession, this week I have only spent £4.88. I cracked out side Pret waiting for a meeting in the offices opposite; do I stand in the street loafing, or do I sit with coffee and cake? The thing is, obsessive belt tightening means a constant reminder that times are hard. Sure there is a moment of satisfaction when you go to bed knowing you have spent nothing at all. Then again if you do crack it's like breaking a diet, a sense of failure, guilt even self loathing. As I made my sandwiches this morning I felt good about returning to the wagon, but I remembered those mornings at AJ's having scrambled egg, costing £8.45 it wasn't going to break the bank, but you know - it does!
Students, Children are the Future
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Tonight I am #worriedabout the future, what happened to the angry young men. The women who lead the sexual revolution, the demonstrators - why are students today so boring. Aren’t they angry at the older generation and what they have done to education or the planet. What ever happened to the generation gap any way, kids need to hate their parents, don't they - it is part of growing up? We’ve moved from “People Try to Put Us Down” to being “a bit embarrassed” that dad has just got up to dance at my 18th, even Glastonbury being a bank holiday family trip, in fact “a trip” has come to mean a day out and not a mushroom induced creative experience.
Is it any wonder that the leaders of our country are a bland, indistinguishable sorry bunch. Where is the passion, Where is John McEnroe, Neil Kinnock or Johnny Rotten. Is this generation going to be remembered for that nice Swiss Guy (yes Swiss, That’s going to be exciting), Lets have a Big Society (Oh I think my sock just blew off, not) and Pop stars your mum likes (and granny loves too, yuk disgusting.)
Hard Times
The full story behind this graph can be found on Sky News and as the graph shows, there is not good news about the economic out look. The graph uses the rise in inflation agains the wages index and ultimately plots the spending power of the average brit.
Health, Fear and Insomnia
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I am on my daily commute, and processing my nights sleep or rather lack of sleep. Are my fears a product of my lack of sleep or are the pains I feel real?
Many times in my life I have been the victim of my own imagination. I guess some would call it hypochondria, even a self obsession, but whatever the cause the outcome is the same, sleepless nights, short temper, lack of concentration. Real and paralysing fear.
All the times I have gone through these periods in my life once on the other side and the symptoms abated, I have wondered at the weeks of misery, and the sheer waste of time I have spent wondering and worrying. Is this the same or are these aches and pains real cause for concern this time? Do I need a doctor or a psychiatrist?
I can be sure however, that what I need is a good nights sleep. That will only come when I have orders in my books, an income I can guarantee, debt I can manage and some sort of security my world isn't going to fall apart. I take little comfort knowing it is not only me having the same thoughts.
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We are launching a twitter campaign, tell the world what you are worried about in 148 characters. Use #worriedabout to identify the tags, it can be anything from your own situation to world news. Simply share and halve your worries.
A Samaritan helped me find my strength
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Welsh International rugby union referee Nigel Owens, of Pontyberem, who attempted to take his own life, said:
Men from my town would just get on with things, you weren’t even aware men had problems. My depression started because I didn’t like who I was and I was too ashamed to talk to anyone.
I let these feelings build up and up, and before I knew it I couldn’t see a reason to live anymore, which is why I tried to take my own life.Looking back there were people I could have and should have turned to. I think that if I had been able to talk to someone that day, I might not have attempted suicide. Today, I can’t even find the words to explain how thankful I am that I am still here.
That’s why this campaign is so important; because it has the power to make men aware help is available and that they should use it.
This Pay Packet Could be My Last
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Work is stressful and the school run highlights that stress for me. Several mums are really worried about their partners job security. It’s a small school, yet I can name 7 families I know are under extreme pressure, impacting on every second on their daily routine. They families in strife cover range of jobs, public sector workers who have already lost their jobs, scientists who fear for their contract or small business owners who can see their order books shrinking and relying on too few buyers.
Personally, I don’t know if this months pay packet is my last. It has been like that for months now. My Pension is non existent my shares have crashed. I have used up most of my savings trying to keep afloat. We have down sized 3 times. I cycle to the station, walk to work, take sandwiches, drink instant coffee and account for every penny on my iphone. Are we facing hardship at this moment, no not in the grand scheme of things, but if I don’t get paid we will hit the bottom very quickly and very hard. It is that worry that creeps into every part of your life. It's the lack of sleep - don’t remember when I last had a decent night. I am effectively trying to hold down two jobs, both of which require me to be a Jack-of-all-Trades. Sure my family are fed, our home isn’t flooded but like all families everywhere it is the constant fear of what is round the corner.
Yet I do thank my lucky stars for what I have every day. A cuddle from my children, a smile from my partner, the kindness of strangers. The fact that we are in the minds of others. In the end it isn’t about money, its about living in an environment that allows me and my family to be safe and together, losing that is what keeps me awake.
The reason for this site
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Since the start of the recession my commute has been interrupted 5 times by "Person Hit by Train" announcements. If one single worry can be shared that for one moment in time creates a second that stops a person from ending it all this site will have been worth it.
Last friday a man was acting nervously on the platform at a rural English Station. The station master noticed and called the oncoming train, which apparently slowed. The man jumped onto the rails placing his head on the line. The driver of the train managed to stop just short of the man. He rose to his feet, on hearing the approach of the train on the other line he turned and jumped, killing himself.
If one person had talked to him, even asking him if he was ok. If the process he was going through had been interrupted with one moment of kindness or compassion would the outcome have been the same? Who knows, but simply we should all make every effort in these times to do something. Even if it is talking, to each other, strangers, friends or family it could just stop a tragedy.
Children are the Future 2
Tonight I am #worriedabout pass the parcel undermining a generation. I wrote the first "children are the future," about the apathy effecting young people, I am experiencing that directly at the moment with 3 work experience people in the office, they are all very bright and a very lovely group but..well read the original post below. The reason that we have a totally apathetic generation on our heals? Pass the Parcel, Today for a party of 22 we play with 22 small gifts wrapped in 22 sheets of paper. Then in a carefully choreographed piece of deceit made sure every child "randomly" had a single turn of opening the parcel, and there by ensuring every one won a single gift. No one is left out, every one wins once. This is the start of the rot, they don't concentrate there is no focus. There is no fighting or even cheating, hanging on too long or feigning a pass to fool the person on the pause button. No the only issue was boredom while children waited for the inevitable pause and reward as the music stopped for their turn.
In my childhood parties, there were only 5 or 6 gifts, some layers were empty - to fool the opener into thinking they were a winner, only to find their one chance was wasted on mere sellotape stung fingers and empty wrapping from last Christmas. It was a game of winners and losers. If you got an empty layer the humiliation was public as all eyes were on you as the tears welled up at the lack of reward. The players concentrated, not wanting to miss their chance. Strategies were employed, I've already talked about the late dummy pass, this with the surreptitious feel of the layer to determine if it contained a reward, followed by the fast pass in case the music paused while the empty layer was in your possession. It all lead to the killer instinct of the future business men and women that would go on to run the country, and change the world. Today, every one wins so no one cares, sit tight and you'll get your present you just have to be in the room. Like the A* grade, turn up for the exam and you will pass. It is our fault and we can change it, and you know we should because it will make the children of today happier, even if there are a few tears on the way.